Silly Power of Suggestion

Last week on Friday my company brought in a chiropractor with a massage therapist. It was very fun the have a free 20 min massage although a little painful as well. It was sad when after 20 min the doctor told her to stop and she said she had only finished 1/3 of my back. So I went ahead and scheduled the follow up visit with the doctor for yesterday. I went in and they checked my range of motion which was limited on my left side. This was interesting to me b/c I had surgery on my right shoulder in HS so I assumed that would be the bad side but I guess I over compensated and therefore messed up my left side. Anyway then we moved on to X-rays of my lower back and neck.

Today I went back in to look at my X-rays. WOW!!!! My neck is straight line - this is bad! Our neck is supposed have about a 40 degree angle toward the back. Luckily I am at stage one of damage which means it is completely reversible back to normal position and function. If I let it go too much longer my bones will start to fuse together and I will lose function in my neck. That is even scarier. So now I will begin my regimen of three visits a week for 8 weeks including traction as well as adjustments and some massage therapy. Luckily I think my insurance will cover most but this is still going to cost about $90 a week.

My lower back was not so bad except that my right hip is lower than my left hip. Note to all parents - Balance the sides you carry your kids on. I totally carry Reese on my right most of the time and now my spine is misaligned. That is alot more minimal than my neck. Seriously those X-ray's scared me.

So I will keep updating during my progress. I have my 1st appt tomorrow which is good. My neck and back were kinda bothering me lately. Ever since I looked at those X-rays I have had throbbing pain through my neck and back. Stupid power of suggestion :-(

Funny Reese story: Last night after Mat left I went up to bed but, like every night, before I go to bed I always go into her room to check on her. Well she had apparently fell off the bed and was on the floor. So I picked her up and put her back in bed. A few minutes later I heard a knock on her door. She had been losing her voice before she went to bed so in a very scratchy voice she asked "may I have orange juice please" I told her to get back in bed while I went to get her juice. I brought it into her and asked her if she needed anything else. Again in a scratchy voice she says "Need to say Amens" We had forgotten to pray when I put her down before. So I start our prayer which I say first and she repeats "Dear God (pause), Thank you for Mommy (pause), Thank you for Grammy (pause), Thank you for Grandad (pause)" I then said "Thank you for loving me" and Reese says "No Mommy you forgot Mat. Thank you for Mat" It was very cute. And then of course then we finished the rest of her prayer.

Fun Reese Moments

So this weekend was full of lots of fun Reese moments so I will take a moment to update you all.



Friday while we were driving home Reese took one of her books and began reading it. I have seen her look at books on her own and sometimes comment about the pictures. This was the first time I have actually heard her make up an entire story. It was even cuter b/c it was a book about going potty so the story was quite interesting. So taking this new found story creating entertainment I decided to try and use it to my advantage. Normally in the morning Reese wakes up and knocks on her door to tell me she is up so I will come get her. So since she had made up her own story I had decided to tell her that from now on when she wakes up she doesn't have to knock right away. She is allowed to play in her room and read books and just knock when she is ready to go potty or downstairs.



So then comes bed time. Luckily Reese has grown out of the Mommy staying in her room till she is asleep. I was never a fan of letting her cry herself to sleep. Prob b/c my cousin put me to bed with stories and singing till she got married when I was 5. So recently we started leaving the room before Reese was asleep and telling her to knock on her door if she needed anything. Most night there is one knock for something like another hug or socks b/c her feet are cold and then she goes to bed. Yay! So Friday follows this pattern and Reese is now asleep. I go to take my shower and I can hear my phone vibrating as Mat texts me. Texting while in the shower is a bad idea so I leave my phone on the counter. Suddenly a little voice says "here is your phone mommy if you want it" while pulling back the curtain. And there is Reese holding my cell phone wearing her PJ's and her pink Crocs. Reese's door has one of those circle things you have to squeeze to open to prevent her from getting out on her own. Apparently there is a flaw in that plan. Reese need to go potty and let herself out of the room. It was quite cute to watch her go all by herself. She moved her stool to the potty, put her seat on it, pulled her pants and diaper down, went potty, and pulled everything back up. By that time I was done in the shower so I took her back to bed and triple checked that the door was closed this time.



Saturday I wake up at 7:30 and Reese hasn't knocked on the door yet. I figured she was still sleeping b/c she had been up late the night before w/ the whole shower thing. So I open her door to wake her up so we can get ready for the Charm City Block Party and she is not in her bed. I look the floor where her tulip (a fleece sleeping bad my sister made for her) is, because she likes to sleep in that but no Reese. I scan across the room to her bookcase to see if she is indeed reading, but still no Reese. I turn my head a little more and low and behold there is my child. Sitting on top of her dresser/changing table w/ a variety of lotions and ointments from the basket on the shelf above, a stack of diapers, and several dolls that had also been on the shelves. She informs me that the dolls need new diapers and she is changing them. Apparently she had figured out that if she pulled open the drawer on her dresser she could use it as a step to climb up. We just recently rearranged her furniture b/c she was using a different table to help her climb up there but apparently that did not really deter her. Oh well.

So I get Reese dressed and we have a 30 min sun tan lotion event. Reese loves "Sun lotion" and thinks everyone should wear it all the time so after she had her lotion she had to put lotion on Grammy, Dad-Dad, and me. We drove to pickup Mat and then went to Baltimore for the block party. While there we had our first awkward dating w/ a kid moment. Reese and I were on the moon bounce w/ one of the really fun PA missionaries. She saw Mat outside and asked if Dad wanted to come in and play. Mat and I kinda avoided the question. Then she asked Reese if that was her dad. A perfectly innocent question by the missionary. I did answer this time and said it's not her Dad. Reese on the other hand answered "That's my Mat" it was cute. Apparently several other times that day people saw him w/ her and called him her Dad which we both knew was bound to happen. He's fine with it and so am I we just have to be careful that Reese doesn't get confused at this point.

So since the whole blog was about Reese I won't end with a funny Reese moment. Things are going really well at work and with school. I promise a blog about Mat soon. And Hillary I really did try to proofread this so I hope it wasn't too painful to read :-)

My New Love Interest

So I was asked to write a blog about my new love interest. It's a little weird cause I don't know if he reads my blog or not (if so Hi Honey). Obviously I'm not gonna write anything here that is posted to the world that I wouldn't tell him, but still it is a little weird. I'll try to write some stuff for those of you who I don't talk to all the time.



So I guess first off his name is Mat. Yes that's not one of my normal spelling errors (Hillary I promise to proofread this) his name is spelled with only 1 T. He's from upstate NY and just moved down here a few months ago. We met online through a dating website and talked for a few weeks before we decided to meet.



He is an incredibly sweet and generous person. Actually when we first were dating I thought he was too nice. I know that sounds weird but after everything I have been through it's kinda hard to accept that someone who is nice without thinking there is a hidden agenda. Also there was a side of me that wanted to make sure he was strong enough to deal with me. If you know me I have a strong personality so I need someone who is gentle and affectionate but I also want someone who would stand up for me in a bar fight and stand up to me when I am wrong. Btw the chances of me being involved in a bar fight or being wrong are both very slim but just in case he should be ready ;-)

When we did the iMarriage series at Fusion a few months ago alot of things they talked about really hit home with me about things I needed to be careful about when I was in a relationship. Being a new Christian I just learned how to submit to Jesus and trust in him to take care of me. I'm still not perfect at it but I am working on it. So the idea of submitting to my husband as to the Lord is hard for me as well. I need someone who can be a leader for our family and I had to make sure that Mat could fill this role. Not just financially but emotionally and spiritually as well.



I actually "broke up" with him after our 3rd date. It's in quotes because I don't know if you call it breaking up when you are just dating and have only gone out 3 times. We were coming up on a crazy weekend where he was going to meet lots of my friends and I didn't really know if I was ready for that so I told him I just wanted to be friends. Luckily he didn't give up on me and he asked me to go to PF Changs the next week. That dinner was the first turning point. Sitting there I realized I did really like him and I didn't just want to be friends but I still had some hold backs that I needed to talk to him about. Those being the too nice stuff as well as needing to tell him about Jonathan and make sure he wasn't going to run.



So we had a few more dates including one where we were able to sit and talk about everything. Pretty much that night was the big turning point. Everything I had been nervous about saying came out and we talked and it was good. We planned ahead of time that this night was for talking so there was no awkward hey let me tell you stuff moment. Everything was amazing that night and our relationship got alot stronger.

Maybe I am weird but I have this thing that you date someone and then he has to ask you to be his g/f to symbolize making it a serious committed relationship. I was really hoping for that to happen that night. But instead of asking me to be his g/f he told me he loved me. I guess that was a sign he wanted a committed relationship ;-) Seriously though things have been great since then. That one talk broke down all the walls and now we talk about everything and life is good.

We're reading 5 love languages now and yes we've gotten through the chapter on being "in love" and how it will change later and we will have to work to maintain a relationship but I am ok with that. I know he loves Jesus and has been enjoying coming to Fusion. We have good talks about that stuff as well and it's really exciting to be with someone I can grow with. We are lucky to be surrounded by other strong Christian couples who we can look to for advice and support.

Ok so hopefully this gives everyone a quick overview of my love interest :-) I started to write more a couple times but thought it might be over sharing so if you want more details just call/write/im me. I love to talk about him :-)

I knew it was too good to be true

Ok so Jonathan did receive his child support papers about having to go to court. Whether or not he shows up. . . who knows but it's not till end of August anyway. This title is in reference to the name cahnge thing.

I just the court website. Back on May 9th the judge signed the papers saying the posting of the request could be made. I think I've explained before but as a refresher a notice saying I want to change Reese's name has to be posted for 30 days in the court house with no contention before it goes to the next step. So silly me though "well if the judge signed it on the 9th of May it's now the 9th of June it's been 30 days and we should be going before the judge soon. But no, that would be too easy. Instead yesterday the notice filed and given to the Sheriff to post. For anyone not familiar with the Rockville courthouse the courtrooms are on the floor above the Sherrifs office. It's not even across the street. Why it took a month to go from the judge saying "Yup you can post this" to actually being put in the sherrfis box I don't know. And of course this is only the notice being delivered. it doesn't actually say it has been posted yet.

I guess the party will be delayed a little longer :-(

Reese story: It is so fun to me to watch Reese try to be like me and her teacher. While we drive in the car she will take her doll Amy and put her in time out. She knows the exact phrases I say whe she goes into and out of time out. Sometimes Amy even is bad in time out and Reese now's how to put in back in. It's frustratinly funny though b/c obviously she knows how time out should work but she doesn't do it herself. She has also started telling Amy "you know the rules" and "That's a no-no" which I guess comes from school

Cross your fingers

So I just got off the phone with Sgt Rodriguez of the Montgomery County Deputy's Office who was verifying Jonathan's address to serve him contempt paperwork for child support. I haven't talked to him in a few weeks so I hope he is still in MD and hasn't run to hide in VA again like he did last time. There are 4 other warrants out for him for various things. In Montgomery County all court records are public record so I can access the files through the web and see anything that has been filed against him or anyone else ;-) So they are only serving him w/ the child support order today I think. Then he will get the rest when he appears in court for that.

I just spoke to the child support people and even if he starts paying his support again he will still have to go to court in August which makes me very happy. Last time he was in contempt he started paying and they canceled the case.

Honestly things are going well now and I don't really need his support money but it would be nice. It would be something to put in a college fund for Reese or take a vacation. They have some awesome programs at her school that I would love to enroll her in the help her start doing Math and Reading but I can't afford them on my budget right now (an extra $175 a month).

The one plus to this is that the more Jonathan messes up the easier it will actually make my life in the future. I really hope to get married someday (I even have a boyfriend now so at least I made it to step 1 for that process ;-) ) and when I get married I would love for my husband to adopt Reese. With the amount that he has been involved in her life so far Jonathan really has never been a father, more like an uncle. Who ever I marry would be providing for her, loving her, and raising her so why shouldn't he legally get to call her his child. I will still tell Reese about Jonathan and let her see him if she wants to.

On a side note today is the last day in the posting of Reese's name change. That means that hopefully sometime next week it will get placed on the judges docket for review. I have no idea how long the wait is for the judge but at least I am one step closer. Since he didn't object during the 30 day period I don't think he has any more chances to change the decision. I will be having a party to celebrate when it happens.

OK Reese story: Yesterday we went over to help Mat (my bf) paint his room and he actually really let her help. It was so cute b/c at first he helped her paint around the trim where the tape was, then we just let her go at it. We gave her a brush and helped her put paint on it and off she went. We only let her paint on the white areas b/c if she went over where we had already painted blue she tended to take the paint off. She also painted Mat's legs a little bit, and at one point backed right into the wall with her butt (Yes Hillary I know I did the same thing at your house). Anyway it was so fun, I really need to start carrying my camera everywhere I go. If anyone needs help painting Reese will work for Hot Dogs or Gummy Bears.

Calling All Perfect Parents

Anyone? Anyone? I hope no one responded. Being a perfect parent is impossible. As Hillary once told me, if there was one perfect way to raise a child there would only be one book on parenting in the book stores. However there enough books to not just fill a rack at Barnes and Noble but a whole section.

The number of books bringing me to my next point. Something about raising a child suddenly makes some people feel like they know the best way to raise and discipline children. Not everyone is like this but there are alot of people who are. It's a natural thing you see a child do something and you see the parent react. If it's different than how you would have reacted and you don't think the outcome was good you want to offer advice to help that parent the next time around. It is quite possible the motive for this comes purely from trying to help a friend and not being overconfident in your parenting skills.

However any parent should know how senstive that aspect of life is. Every parent, or set of parents, has thier own plan for how they will raise thier children. They are afterall THEIR children. This plan generally evolves from how they themselves were raised as well as insight from things they have seen other people do or read in one of the 500 books. I learned how to put Reese in Time Out by watching Hillary with Owen. It doesn't always work perfectly but neither do Owen's so I know neither Hillary or I are perfect parents but we try hard and so far our kids are turning out well.

This plan I mentioned is kinda like the birthing plan when you were pregnant. You have a goal for how you would like things to occur, how you want to handle different situations but there has to be flexibility in that plan. Afterall your child is a living rational being who doesn't always do things they way you want to and may not respond they way you want to. Being to rigid in your birth plan 9 times out of 10 leads to complications and generally a c-section. (Way to many stories from my Mom and Anne) Being to rigid in your plan for rasing and disciplining your child can lead to worse behaviors or even affect the basic relationship of the parent and child.

Every family has thier own plan and while you may think you are just trying to help your situation, your lifestyle, and your goals are different and cannot be imposed on someone else. Even within a family each child is different and has to be handled differently.

I know I have been guilty of disciplining other peoples kids. It's hard when you see them do something they shouldn't not to stop them. But I am trying to stop more often and evaluate if I think in the situation the childs paretns can easy be gotten so they can handle it themselves b/c they need to use thier method not mine for consistency sake with the child.

In the end it will be me who sits back and reflects on the person Reese has grown to be and accept that how I raised her helped her become that way, for good or bad. (obviously I'm hoping for Good). But only me (unless I get married) not anyone else.

Reese Story time: On sunday we went to the Circus and Reese got to ride on an elephant. I'll post some pics on here as well as one Facebook later tonight. It was so much fun and she had such a great time. However I now constantly find myself hearing "mommy want to be like pretty ladies" which means I turn into some form of gymnastics equipment to help her tumble, flip, and spin like the acrobats. At least she only does it with me so I don;t have to worry about her hurting herself somewhere else.