Tuesday, February 17, 2009

A Computer Knows Me Better Than Me

So Mat and I are starting pre-marital counseling through church and I am super excited. The first step was taking an online survey and then meeting with one of the pastors to go over it. Nothing to surprising when they went over mine and Mat's answers. The things we knew needed work/ more discussion and planning were what we thought they would be. It was still good to voice them to someone else and get a little bit of reassurance about how we were handling them and advice for the future.

What was more interesting was the personality profile results. Weirdly I am someone who is confident but not aggressive. Normally confident people know what they want and ask for it, which was this surveys definition of aggressive. I wasn't to surprised by this revelation, and I think most people who know me would agree. I will stand up in a debate and defend my side or challenge someone who does something that upsets me. But in many other things I am not aggressive. There are 2 sides/reasons for this. The first part is that I know what I want but I hate to ask people for help. Especially when it comes to Reese. I hate asking people to babysit her or do other things for her. She's my kid, she's my responsibility so I need to take care of her. My parents have told me over and over again they have never felt like I abused their generosity in asking them to watch her. And I know Mat loves taking Reese out to spend time with her. But I can't help but still feel like I'm asking people to do me a favor and I'm burdening them. Definitely something I have to work on. I still don't want to take advantage of people, but I do need to realize that there are other people like me, who like to help people. And people who enjoy spending time with Reese and don't mind watching her for me, or even really enjoy getting some time alone with her.

The second side to this is similar about not being a burden but a little skewed. I don't like feeling like people are hanging out with me b/c they have to or feel obligated to. I've always believed if someone likes/loves you they will put in effort to spend time with you. I kinda sucked at that rule during college and lost touch with alot of close friends. Some of it was because I didn't think those friends would like the person I had become. But that's a whole different blog. Now I try to make sure I IM, call, text, or visit with my friends to keep in touch. I always hope that my friends will do the same. To me there is no better feeling then when people chose to come spend time with me. It's a weird way to think about it but sacrificing their time to come hang out with me is really nice.

So far I've talked about stuff that didn't surprise me so you probably wonder why I chose the title I did. Well here it is. Another aspect of the personality profile was that I am comfortable in social situations. I knew that from how I was raised. May mom was always hosting dinner parties or I went to parties with them. Being in these situations I learned to start conversations with lots of different people and how to interact at a party. I'm very lucky because Mat is not a big social person like me but still can handle himself at a party. I've dated guys where I felt like I had to hold their hand the whole time (and not in the romantic way). Guys who felt awkward being around people they didn't know, or just in a party situation. Tim (the pastor we met with) said that it was good I was aware of that. And that I recharged myself through those events. At the time I dismissed that. I've never been someone who needed lots of friends, I just feel comfortable when put in big social situations. Or at least I thought that until tonight. I've been a SAHM for 2 days now. I love getting time with Reese, it's been great. Tonight Mat and I went to a tasting event at the place we're hoping to have our wedding. I felt off the whole evening as soon as I left the house. I thought maybe it was because I felt bad leaving Reese. She hurt her thumb with splinters (I'll explain more in another blog). I didn't know what was wrong, and I kept trying to figure it out. Then we got to the event. Within 5 minutes I ran into a sorority sister who works at the place and a fellow ISAT grad who's wedding is a few weeks within mine. Chit chatting with those 2 and catching up I suddenly felt so much better. Hillary and Neil showed up and I got to introduce them to my friends and show the place to Hillary. As Mat and I left I suddenly felt so much happier.

I didn't figure it out till I was in the car, but the computer was right. Social situations energize me. At work there's lunch and other random interactions with coworkers that provide that socialization. I really hope that I can find a way to fulfill the social needs in other ways now that I'm at home. Because I really don't want to feel like I did today again.

Friday, February 13, 2009

Reese's Hannah B-day

Today was Reese's last day at school until I find a new job. Hopefully a new job will be close to Frederick so she can go back b/c I LOVE her school and all her teachers. "Luckily" her last day happened to coincide with her B-day weekend so she could still have her school party to celebrate with her friends.

Reese loves Hannah Montana. I blame myself b/c I like Hannah Montana so I've put it on when we're home at night since she was a baby. Also at school Reese sometimes gets bumped to the PreK classroom and they tend to listen to Disney Artist music in there.

So for Reese's school party I was determined to get her Hannah Montana cupcakes. I checked a couple places that wanted ridiculous amount of money for cupcakes. I even purchased little pics with pictures of Hannah on them and contemplated baking my own because I needed 30 cupcakes to cover all her friends in her 3 different classrooms. Then a teacher recommended I go check out Walmart. I went over on Wed and saw some HSM cupcakes out for sale. I asked the woman behind the counter if they had Hannah Montana decorations and they did - rings and pics with different designs. YAY!!! So I order 36 cupcakes for a grand total of $18 which was much more reasonable than the other quotes I had gotten.

Thursday evening we go to pick up the cupcakes. I noticed all the valentines cupcakes were all marked $3 for a dozen. Now I was thinking if I had risked it and just come in and bought those cupcakes and switched the decorations I could have saved money. Oh well too late now.

After 10 minutes searching through the cooler (it must be huge) the bakery woman brought out Reese's Hannah cupcakes. There were amazing. They had airbrushed them with Pink and Purple (Reese's 2 fav colors) and I think the amount of icing on each one was equal to or more than actual cake. This is very important to children (and adults like me who can eat icing out of a can anytime) The smile on Reese's face was worth the extra money I was going to pay for them. But then I got to the register and . . . they rang up at $3 each. Apparently all cupcakes were on sale, even special order. I almost jumped for joy.

Of course Reese and I had to taste test them after dinner to make sure they were up to par. And yeah they were delicious. I really want to go more for the weekend but then there's that whole diet thing. Walmart does wedding cakes and after tasting the cupcakes I might seriously consider them because it was delicious.

This morning Reese woke up and put on her Hannah shirt from Great Grandma Davis, her Hannah Rockstar ribbon (from me), and her Hannah ring from her cupcake last night. Definitely a Rock Star in training. I even convinced her to let me braid her hair which is an accomplishment for me. I can put my hair in a ponytail and that's about all.

So here are some pics or her this morning as we drove to school. Don't worry we were at a red light when I started snapping.

A small look at my french braiding skills

Never trust a toddler with that look on her face, holding a marker. Luckily her dry erase doodle board was the only victim.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

My Little Fashionista

Monday night Reese suddenly decided that she wanted to decide what she was wearing and Mommy had no say anymore. (She thinks Mommy has no say, but I hold ultimate Veto power)

So outfit #1 - to wear to bed was the following lovely ensemble:

A lovely floral summer dress, with striped pink leg warmers, a striped pink and brown head band, and her monkey T-shirt to keep her arms warm. This outfit was her choice for school the next day as well. It's hard to tell but the 2nd pic is her jumping. She's practicing those oh so difficult "action" modeling poses ;-)

Wednesday was another morning searching through our summer dresses to pick the next ensemble. And here it is:

Our favorite multi-colored heart shirt, with a navy Nautica dress sporting a teddy bear on the chest, teddy bear tights, and her black "dancing" shoes.

This morning's outfit was just as creative but I didn't have time to take a pic before we left. I'll post it later tonight.

Kids WorkShop

For those of you who don't know, Home Depot does a free kids workshop the 1st Sat of every month from 9-noon. Now some projects are cooler than other. Reese made a catamaran that really floats, but we skipped the month they made paper-football field goal posts. You can check online to see what the project is before actually venturing out here.

This month in honor of Valentines day the kids made cute little tricket boxes with Hearts. Reese had so much fun gluing the box together and putting the "velvet" lining in. Then we decide we should paint the box before giving it to Grammy. So off we went to the paint department. I haven't been in awhile but Holy Cow how many shades of pink are there??? For fun we went to the Disney section b/c I liked the names of the colors, and Reese liked that the paint chips look like Mickey's head. We settled on Pooh's Kite which was a pinkish purple. I asked for a sample size which only costs $4. A great idea if you ever just need a little of a color for an accent or project.

Once at home we put on some painting clothes, spread out some newspaper, and had some fun painting.


There was a bit of a debate as to who had more paint on the end in the end. I won for volume but Reese won for square inches compared to body size.

Once everyone was washed up we hung out relaxing together.
Not the best family pic, but I'll take it :-)

Friday, February 6, 2009

Why did God Make Poo?

So I was supposed to write about this yesterday but you know this whole finding a job thing kinda takes up my time.

So Reese and I have wonderful conversations while driving to and from Frederick everyday. The things that come out of her mind are incredible. Yesterday was no different. We are driving along and I here "Mommy, why did God make Poo?" I'm thinking - really?!?! this?!?! this is my first stump the parent question?!?! Why couldn't I have gotten "Why is the sky blue" or "Where do chicken nuggets come from"(she knows babies come from bellies so she won't ask that) or pretty much anything else. But no I get asked to explain poo, and not just poo but why God created poo.

So I start off trying to explain how God gave us food so that we could have energy to play and have fun

"No Mommy, why did God create poo"

I told her I was getting there. That when our bodies eat the yummy food God gave us we feel good and happy

"No Mommy, why did God create poo" (with more emphasis this time)

So I begin to explain that we don't need everything we eat and what our bodies don't need they get rid of when we go potty.

"No Mommy! Why did God create Winnie the Pooh!"

I really should learn to get clarification for questions before I start answering!

Thursday, February 5, 2009

So much to write so little time

Actually now I have lots of time :-( After coming back from NY over the weekend I had a weird feeling from the emails I was seeing from my CEO in my inbox. Sure enough I sho u monday and here people saying one of the big investors has pulled out.

Quick clarification my company is a small start-up company with only 30 employees. Over the last year things started moving very quickly and we were making huge progress steps. Of course progress costs money and we went from spending a couple million a year to almost $20 million. Needless to say we needed more money to keep going. Two large very well known companies stepped up to say they would invest. We don't do VC money b/c that is evil, only angel investors or other private investors like these companies. Because of things going on with the economy unfortunately both investors decided to wait on investing. Maybe in a few months if the market turns, but who knows. Now comes the dominoe affect. Smaller investors get nervous and things get dicey. Rememebr the saying "Last hired, First fired" well I wasn't the last hired of the company but I was for my staff postion. So myself and a few other people ere given 30 days notice.

Not a great severance package but based on the status of the company it's better than the 2 weeks my contract promised. I truely beleived in Akonni's product. I hope that they can turn this around and bounce back b/c it truely will revolutionize the medical diagnostics world.

I have finished updating my resume and I'm starting to email it out to friends and employers. It's kinda nice at work b/c everyone keeps coming by telling me contacts they have other places and giving my advice on my resume. I have lots of people willing to be references or write letters of recommendation. So now I trust in God and see his plan. I remember what it was like last time i job hunted. It was one of the 1st times in my adult life I remember really feeling God tell me what He wanted me to do. It was an amazing experience and I can't wait to feel it again.

Speaking of God and on a note of perspective I started cleaning out my cubicle yesterday and started feeling a little bummed. But then I looked across the office at one of our scientists Julia. She and her husband just moved here from Chicago a few months ago. Some of her family is still there, the rest is in Russia. Her husband Boris was an Akonnis employee as well and they were the cutest couple ever. His English was not very good so she usually had to translate for him. I am sure you noticed I used the past tense to describe him. Boris ws not laid off by Akonni, he passed away of a sudden and major heart attack last wed. I was not at work that day due to ice and then left for NY so this was the first time I had seen Julia since Boris passed. No matter how I feel about cleaning out my cubicle and leaving Akonni, at least I cleaned out my own cubicle. Julia has to clean out Boris's. Everything happens for a reason, even death. I am sure God had a bigger plan in what happened w/ the Chernov family but I know I found a mesage in it for me.

Please pray for them, for all my coworkers (times are going to be crazy and rough for awhile), and of course me and my family.