Monday, April 13, 2009

I need a job

It's been about 2 1/2 months since I was told I was being let go and I still haven't found a new job. The market for biotech jobs was pretty hard already and now we're entering graduation time. I don't have to compete with any undergrads. But graduate students will make things harder.

I have much stronger faith this time than last time I was job hunting. But I'm human and the faith waivers from time to time. When I get a couple emails in one day saying I wasn't chosen for a position, it hurts. Knowing everyone else who was laid off w/ me has found a new job, it hurts. I've interviewed for a few jobs and 2 of them seemed cool. One I REALLY wanted. and of course, those are the jobs I never heard anything back from. Not even a rejection so I could get some feed back.

The biotech industry had little niches, once you settle into one it's very hard to move to another. For example I don't have experience with protein purification except for DNA and RNA or immunoassay experience. Alot of job descriptions want ELISA and Western Blot experience (Sorry to anyone who doesn't know what those are but you can read about it on Wikipedia). So I'm stuck in a niche of working with DNA and RNA on a molecular level. There are jobs out there, I've found lots, and applied to them all. But so far they haven't been "the one."

Being home isn't too bad. I get to sleep in (yes to me 7:30 is sleeping in b/c for work I have to be up by 6) and then spend some time cuddling with Reese while we wake up. Then downstairs for breakfast and some morning cartoons on Disney. The rest of the day varies. Sometimes errands, or playdates, or outings. Some days we just hang out at home playing or doing some preschool work. Overall staying home with the kid is pretty easy, but it's driving me crazy.

I need adult interaction. And my kid needs kid interaction. I feel like I am doing her an injustice having her here with me. She needs to be around a group of children learning to play and work with them. There were always kids she didn't get along with, so she was learning early how to handle that situation. She had teachers with state approved curriculums and all the resources to carry out those curriculums. I'm a school person. I wasn't a straight A student or anything, but I put a high-value on school education. The teachers in preschool went to school to learn how to teach my kid and help her. Sure there are things I know naturally and I can turn a grocery store trip into a lesson about fruits and counting, etc. But in my mind, I cannot match what she would get in an actual school.

Also like I said I need adult interaction. I miss sitting around at lunch and talking about stuff with adults. I miss having deadlines and trouble shooting problems. I even miss meetings, which is scary.

Finally there is the wedding. Our date is still being held and it's only 5 months away. I'm going to start checking out photographers and florists and gathering information but we haven't officially signed anything for that date. So far unemployment has covered all my bills and other incidentals (except the car accident) so we haven't touched out savings. I have a very large tax refund coming as well. We have enough money to pay for the wedding. But if I don't have a job we don't know if we'll have enough money to have a place to live post wedding. Maybe this is a big test of faith from God. We know He wants us to be married. Maybe we should sign the papers and trust that things will come together as He wants. But it's really scary. And I don't have alot of support from my mom right now. Previously she offered Mat and I a place living here for a few months post marriage to save up some more money. But if we drop a couple thousand on the wedding she might not be so willing b/c she thinks it's a waste of money. Anyway that is a whole separate blog.

Please keep praying for me and my strength and patience. Pray for Reese that together she and I can grow together during this time and learn from each other.

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