Thursday, March 27, 2008

Dating, the new way

So I am dating again. I've told serval of you about him but I will wait till a later blog to give more details since it just started and I don't really know where it's going right now. This instead is about my new outlook on dating and trying to accept it into my life. We had a seminar at Church about marriage and having expectations instead of desires and I relized even without ebing marreid I always put alot of expectations into a dating relationship. Maybe that is one of the reasons I'm still single. When you are dating and put expectations on someone they don't have that married commitment to you to work on them. They can just leave. Now I should back up and say you shouldn't have expectations in marriage either, you should have desires. Read Hillary's blog for an awesome explantion of this.

So back to me dating. For me a big part of not having expectations is not rushing. I am a scientist, I like things to mean something and I like to see a conclusion. I hate this does he like me, are we a couple, what might happen feeling. But I am trying to realize that I need this time. There needs to be time for reflection and thinking and to enjoy the dating period and not try to push and rush into a commiment that wasn't meant to be. It's not just me that is affected anymore. I have to think about Reese and making sure that who I choose is right for me as well as her.

The last challenge for me is my decison regarding sex. Obviously I didn't wait till marriage in the past. However hearing stories from Anne and Hillary (not with lots of details obviously) about how amazing it was to wait until they married thier husbands and how that helped thier marriages inspires me to this commitment. I'm not gonna lie, I might miss it and I know I might be tempted. But it something I will be open and honest with in any relationship and whoever I date will have to commit to that as well. If they aren't willing to then they aren't the man God has sent for me.

It's a little scary right now for me because Anne is moving and Hillary might be moving as well. Anne has been in my life forever although we just really reconnected a few years ago. Hillary and I have formed a strong bond (I am her SWF afterall). I will still have Katy but she will have some big shoes to fill if I loose Anne and Hillary. I pray every day for strength turning this time b/c I'm even strating to cry while writing this blog. But I know God has a reason, maybe he will choose this time to show my the man I am supposed to marry and he will be there for me or maybe I am supposed to have some time to figure things out on my own without leaning on Anne and Hillary too much. Whatever it is only time will tell.

So as promised I will always end with a funny Reese story (who by the way is almost 3 feet tall!!) Reese misses her friends Owen and Blake (they are in GA w/ Hillary) and since I have told her that several times she now thinks everyone who leaves goes to GA. The facial expressions with the extreme seriousness (forrowed brow and everything) and she says "No Dad-dad in Georgia, ok" makes it hard not to laugh.

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