Terrifyingly Excited

Yup I think those 2 words somewhat describe the feeling I've been having lately. My heart is racing faster than I thought it could and I have that goofy smile you can't get off your face. It is 108 days till the wedding. It seems so far but also so soon. Mat made a comment shortly after we started booking things about how it was scary that things were happening now. I told him I didn't like the word scary being used to describe marrying me, but now I get it. Scary, terrifying, exciting, amazing, just a few words to describe what it indescribable.

It's like I've been waiting in line for a ride my whole life. I've made friends along the way but hadn't found the person I wanted to sit next to. Then a little over a year ago I found Mat and shortly after I knew he was the one. It was great having someone to stand there and talk to while we waited. But now we're getting closer to the ride. We can hear the laughs and screams of people already on it. Sometimes we can catch a glimpse of parts of the tracks, big drops, loop-de-loops, etc, but we can't see the whole ride. We won't ever get to see it until we're on it. We know this ride is amazing and can't wait but we're scared at the same time. We see some people get out of line. We've heard that sometimes people fall out of thier cars and are badly hurt. Some of those people decide to ride the ride again, some don't.

But we're in this together and we want to ride the ride soo badly. The waiting is hard. Sometimes I wish the line would go faster. Other times I think it's going to fast. But I have Mat next to me so no matter what it's ok. The ride is long and an amazing adventure. It will start with the ceremony - as we get into our car and TJ helps us make sure our seat belts (God) are in place and there to help hold us together. Then the reception - the slow part where you keep climbing up and up, higher and higher. Your soo excited but you have no idea what's coming up ahead. Then you reach the top and the ride starts. The honeymoon - the first big rush of excitment - followed by the rest of your life. There are twists and turns. The ride will turn us upside down. Sometimes it will slow down and then suddenly there will be another big drop - that might make us laugh, but could make us scream or cry. Sometimes there will be sharp turn that slams us against each other, othertimes a gentle turn that pulls us closer together. But through it all we will be there next to each other. And we will have God as our seat belt, the bar that's just above your lap so you don't always feel it until you need it to keep you in.

Yeah I am terrifyingly excited about what is to come. But I can't wait for the ride to start!