Fun Fun Fun

OK I still owe a blog about NY and I am working on it but I'm gonna update about this week real quick b/c it was a good week.

Reese has been working on potty training but not really pushing her to much. Thursday night she did really well using the potty so I decided to send her to school Friday in her big girl undies instead of a diaper. I sent three changes of clothes just in case as well. When I came back at the end of the day she was still in the same outfit. No accidents, even during nap time. we continued at home and made it all day w/ no accidents. Saturday Mat and I took her to the National Zoo, Mat hadn't been since he was a kid. I was worried about no diapers but luckily we made it through the day w/ only one accident at the zoo (and one at home as well). Today we tried for day three. We went to Hillary's house for Neil's 31st b-day party. I kept getting distracted by hanging out w/ people to remind her to go potty and she was distracted playing with friends. So we had a couple accidents. But I am still very proud of my little lady.

Thursday was a big day besides using the potty lots. I received a letter from the courthouse saying her name change was complete. Her legal name is now Reese Elizabeth Stewart!!!! Big mistake giving her Jonathan's name. One of many but relatively easy to fix. Now I get some practice for the LONG process after your name changes. It will come in handy after I'm married I'll know who needs to be notified. Reese may not have bank accounts or a drivers license but there is still social security, the courts, doctors, school ,etc. Also good practice since her name may change again if things go the way we hope.

Last exciting event of the week: Friday was the last day of the summer program at Reese's school. When I picked her up we went to the 2yr old classroom to get stuff out of her cubby. She spend her time 1/2 and 1/2 btwn the 2yr old and 3 yr old classroom so at the end of the day she's usually in the 3yr old room which is the pre-school room. Her cubby wasn't there anymore. Well the cubby was but the box with her name on it was gone. I went back to the 3yr old room and asked if they knew what happened. They said Reese had been moved up for the school year. This is super exciting b/c she doesn't turn 3 til Feb so they could have made her wait till next year to start in the pre-school room. Even in the 2yr old room they do pre-school like learning letters, numbers, writing, animals, plants, people, etc. But they do more in the older classrooms and really start practicing sitting and listening to a teacher. So it's very exciting that Reese gets to start Pre-School tomorrow!!!

OK so that was our awesome weekend. No funny Reese story since the whole blog is about her :-)

Quick Update

Ok so just giving everyone a quick update on things going on around here.

1. Work is going really well. I am currently on to of the big projects we have going on and I've been making alot of progress w/ my team lead Cindy. Hopefully this will be remembered come evaluation time in the Fall. it sucks not being to talk to much about my work but first of all most people would think it was boring b/c they don;t like science. Also we are working with an undisclosed company so everything is very hush hush. I can say we are making awesome progress and getting ready to actually start putting products in hospitals for research use. Silly FDA approval may take some more time. It very exciting as I see my stock options starting to be worth more and more (only in my mind though b/c no one can really put a dollar amount on it right now).

2. Reese, Mat, and I are leaving Thurs to go to NY to meet his family. Nervous? Me? Ummm yeah but not really. I know he loves me and I want his family to like me and be happy for him. I mean no one wants future in-laws that don't like you. (BTW no not engaged yet but sometime btwn now and April 19th 2009 )

3. Things with Jonathan are same as always. Still no child support, the sheriff still can't find him. I even offered to give Jonathan $20 for gas for him to drive to pick up the paperwork b/c he said that was his excuse and he still didn't do it. (he really doesn't live that far away, prob would only cost him like $8 in gas). I am contacting my lawyer to find out about having parental rights removed. I didn't think it was an option but I read about it last night. If he shows disinterest in her and no signs of trying to raise and care for her than I might be able to get it. Since he's only seen her maybe 5 times in her life and never really tried to support her I think I have a good case.

4. Reese is getting so big and way to smart. At school they are learning Spansih and it's so cute when she signs her Hola song or tells me "Red in Spanish is Rojo" I am trying to help her practice at home but since I haven't spoken Spanish since grade school and learned french instead it's a little hard but still good for her. They spent the summer learning about sports and being healthy b/c of the Olympics which was really cute. Potty training is going. I'm not pushing super hard but we do go as soon as we wake up, after dinner, and before bed. Although sometimes it's just trying b/c she already went in her diaper before we got to the potty. At school Ms. Gina takes Reese more often and Reese's friend Olivia just got potty trained so we are hoping Reese will want big girl panties just like Olivia. Reese really likes Mat and asks about him all the time. If we see a red truck on the road Reese gets really excited b/c she thinks it's Mat and very sad when it's not him. She constantly takes my phone or her play phone and calls mat. She also now calls Sami. They are getting very cute together and I hope they will be close as they grow up. Hopefully we can get some more play sessions planned in the fall.

Ok I guess I am finished updating for now. Really my purpose in the update was to be able to say ANNE??? HILLARY??? KATY??? any of you think you might want to write a blog. Two of you are pregnant, one just finished moving, one is still finishing her house, one lives far far away and needs to keep us more updated, and all three of you are slacking (J/K)

Funny Reese Moment: Last night Reese was watching Finding Nemo on the Disney Channel while Mom and I sat in the kitchen talking. All of a sudden Reese calls and asks me to come in. commercials had come on and she wanted me to turn then off (fast-forward). it's a little scary when she already gets that concept. She calls all remotes TiVo's, sometimes she asks for movies but more often it's for a DVD, and when she types on her keyboard I gave her for a toy she tells me she is emailing Super Jon (My older brother). Scary how she already is so comfortable with all the technology around us, and my Mom still isn't ;-)

Do you know any reporters?

If you read my blog you know all the drama that happens w/ Jonathan and I. Well I am sick of sitting back and doing nothing. I know other parents are in similar positions as me. So I have written this letter that I will try mailing to different news stations. If any of you know a reporter (TV or Print) and can send this to them please do. Or if you know anyone who could add to this story w/ their own to help bulk up the case for doing to story please tell them to leave a comment and I will contact them.

To whom it may concern;

If you do not normally do criminal or family law stories so please send this to someone at your station who might find it newsworthy?

I think looking into the legal system and how family law and criminal law aren't linked to each other would be an eye opening story. It would help educate people as to how negligent parents are able to get away with so much. And maybe encourage some reform to the system.

I have a child and her father was abusive and is also delinquent in his child support. When we first separated I tried to take out a protective order for myself and my daughter. The sheriff's department could never find him to serve the paperwork so my request was denied. I tried 3 times consecutively so they were looking for him for a 4 month period. However during that time he was pulled over and given 3 tickets for criminal offenses. When the officer ran his record no mention that he was being looked for for the protective order came up so he was given the tickets and allowed to go on his way.

Recently a sheriff has been trying to serve him with contempt paperwork b/c he is $14,000 in arrears for child support but again cannot locate him. However 2 nights ago he turned himself in to the 7 Locks detention center. While there they updated his criminal offense file and released him after 24 hours saying they would mail him the paperwork to appear in court for his criminal charges. Yet again there was nothing that showed about his child support.

When I look in the Maryland Judiciary Case system I see all the cases against him, including the child support and that papers have been issued but not served. I don’t know why this doesn’t happen on their end as well. If my ex is not served by Aug 22nd than the case for child support arrears is dismissed. He can be charged again but it will be another 6 months before all the paperwork is filed and a new court date is issued.

How can it be that twice now he has been in custody or at least in the presence of law enforcement but never been given the paperwork for the family law issues? So many politicians (including presidential candidates) talk about making the system for tracking “dead beat” parents better. If they can’t find them when they are in custody how are they going to find them else where?

Thank you for taking the time to read my letter. I will share any more information you need to help get this story on air.

Clare Stewart

Risky Business

A few months ago I wrote a blog about Jonathan getting served papers for being in contempt of child support. As a summary he has paid a grand total of $32.15 this year and that was back in Feb. He is supposed to pay about $700 a month, which doesn't even cover day care but would still be helpful. If any of you think that is a ridiculous amount I didn't pick it, the court has a system where they have a predetermined amount that they think a child costs based on if it needs daycare, medical expenses, etc. Then they input both the mother and father's salaries and based on that determine a percentage of how much each is responsible for. At any time Jonathan could go in a say he was earning less money (because he gets paid under the table) and they would lower the amount he owes and I couldn't' do anything about it. But he is too lazy to fill out a one page form and mail it so therefore he is still responsible for the full amount he originally agreed to.

The court issued the paperwork to the Sheriff's department to serve him back in April I think. Unfortunately Jonathan has still not been served. The deputy has tried to find him at home but he is either never there or doesn't answer the door. Since he hasn't been working because he's on workman's comp they can't find him at work either.

If Jonathan is not served by the end of this month than the case is dismissed. He gets off scot free with no penalty. They will refile against him again but that will take another 6 months and again if he avoids the sheriff then he gets away again. Here is where the legal system is a little messed up. Family Law and the Criminal/Traffic Law systems apparently don't match up. if he gets pulled over by a cop for any reason it won't flag that they are trying to serve him the contempt papers b/c they technically aren't a warrant. Hopefully the other 3 or 4 warrants will show up and when they arrest him in for those they can walk to contempt paperwork over to him.

But back to the title of this blog. Officer Rodriguez and I have devised a different plan rather than hope he gets pulled over and the cop runs his info. I don't want to put any details in here because I don't know who reads this blog but pray for me through the end of the month that I can help Jonathan be served the paperwork (that he knows he is supposed to get) without him taking any retaliation back out on me or my family.

It's a fine line right now for what I want to happen. it would be great to have Jonathan start paying child support so I could start saving money to pay my parents back and have money to spend on fun stuff in the future. But the less he does and the less involved in Reese's life he is the easier it will be to have his rights switched to companionship rights and get Reese adopted.

Ok Funny Reese story: She didn't know she was telling a joke but this made me laugh so hard:

Reese "Mommy, how was your day?"
Me "Good"
Reese "How was your work?"
Me "Busy but good"
Reese "How was your school?"
Me "I didn't go to school today"
Reese "How is your bridge?"
Me "I don't know"
Reese "It's falling down"

Hilarious. . . I walked right into that one :-)